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Box Office Proves Abstinence Really Isn’t That Profitable

by Zach Bourque 2 March 2009 144 views 5 Comments

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Well, the public has spoken and they shout a resounding “no” to the Jonas Brothers, even in 3 dimensions. “Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience” took in just 12.7 million this past weekend, less than half of what analysts had predicted.

The brothers represent some of the most radical and bigoted of all religious nut jobs here in America, better known as Evangelical Christians. Complete with a bible thumping preacher of a father and proudly donning sex-banning “promise rings,” the Jonas Brothers are more or less the reason Muslim extremists hate our country. Whoops, did I just say that?

Possibly the most entertaining element of this story is that Lionsgate’s “Madea Goes To Jail” beat out the  “Jonas Brothers 3D “experience,” taking the number one box office seat for the second week in a row with a pull of roughly $16.5 million dollars. The film is now the highest grossing Tyler Perry film in his career.

Has America finally realized that the Jonas Brothers represent the antithesis of rock and roll? Fingers crossed!

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5 Comments »

  • Denise said:

    Have these children hit puberty yet?

  • Matt said:

    Are they even famous enough to make a predicted 30 mil? Maybe they should go back to the Disney Channel

  • Sabrina said:

    Just a thought, muslim extremists don’t hate the US because of its culture, they hate the US because of its government’s foreign policy, which has been interfering in the region since the 1950s. It’s all blowback. We have a lot of angry people there who want their autonomy back. My two cents.

    But I do agree that North American culture has its eccentricities… which can be harmful in the long run.

  • GAY GAYG AGY said:

    awww! I love the Jonas Bros! They are precious. I’m in awe that they didn’t get a lot of people at their movie! so weird? What is up with you, AMERICA?! Don’t you want to BURN UP with the JO BROS?

  • Trina333 said:

    Um, I’d take their virginity ANY day.

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