In today’s world, being called a hot tranny mess is the equivalent of someone telling you that you’re the next Sasha Fierce. It’s a compliment. It’s like standing next to an ultrasound of a 7-week-old child feeling like a giant when you’re Mini Me. Kinda like getting laid with a straight guy when you’re Richard Simmons. Or that feeling you get when someone compliments you that your freshly coated orange tan looks as if you’ve been soaking in the UV rays from Zac Efron’s skin.

So between the two trannies below, RuPaul and Lady Gaga we wanted to know exactly who was a tranny and who was a granny. What do you think?

RuPaul’s Drags Herself Into Stardom

The woMAN with the largest balls in the business is still doing her thing with a hit reality show all about drag. A former talk show host, RuPaul has made a real name for herself, even being compared to the other hot tranny, Tyra Banks. Her hair is unbeweaveable, muscles big and bulgy like her other muscle, and style as impeccable as Heatherette on any day.

Everything (BUTTER) Poker Face

We love her music, we love her origami inspired clothes, but her looks are definitely questionable. Yeah, we understand she looks 10000x better after her surgery, but the girl still likes like Gonzo went to space. In her music video, “Poker Face,” she dances as if her disco stick was still jammed and stuck way up in her uterus. Take a look:

Conclusion:

In this competition, no one can beat Lady GAGa and her trannilicious ways. Though RuPaul is literally the tranny, the girl is just a hot granny mess–yawn–and is just another famewhore in the abyss we call Hollywood.

Lady Gaga, we LOVE you! Your beat is sick–like your face!