A year and a half ago, a book series took the nation by storm, causing ropes to fly off hardware store shelves, introducing BDSM to the masses, and reinvigorating interest in period sex (well, kind of). I’m talking about none other than Fifty Shades of Grey….you know, the book you laughed at, made fun of, and then secretly read it in your bedroom and loved every word? That book. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you read it and liked it.

‘Tis the season for network pick-ups, and with that comes the inevitable cuts to primetime line-ups. Today we toast the shows that have recently been shut off and hope that they too get an Arrested Development style reboot of their own. RIP to five TV shows we’ll miss…

Hipsters are fascinating in a very annoying way. They’re pretentious, pompous, and have a tendency to reject mainstream trends while simultaneously creating their own. As a group, hipsters are not as annoying as say, Nigerian email scammers, however, the problem with the hipster culture is that there is very little breathing room. There is not a large variety of culture to which they attach themselves. Instead, as if on purpose, they find a few notable things and envelop them like flies on kabob meat. Maybe this is all sounding a bit dramatic, but have you noticed how hipsters seemingly only smoke American Spirit, only wear plaid and only play very specific sounding music? It’s the most intentional, self aware stereotype, ever. In history. It’s mostly harmless, except for the fact that once the hipster culture has chosen something to envelop, to make one of their own, it becomes such a vital part of their culture that it is associated entirely with hipsters. To an optimist’s eye, they have simply adopted or cherished it. To a cynic’s, they have stolen it. Which brings me to PBR. This is going to be a bit personal for me since I think PBR is the best cheap, trashy beer you can find. Since it’s light and doesn’t taste like tepid garbage water, it is the perfect beer for drinking games, camping, or a casual drink after physical labor. It was a man drink: popular in the Deep South or New Mexico where men drank it after a hard day of construction or hunting, swigging it from their porch chairs…

Celebrity endorsements are not a rare thing. Practically every product known to man has been endorsed by a celeb, whether it’s Michael Jordan for Hanes, Brett Favre for Sensodyne, or Charlize Theron for Dior. And yeah, it’s a bit like selling out and it’s also a little irritating to know that the millions these people make from their normal occupations apparently isn’t good enough. But hey, it’s not harming anyone and who am I to diss someone making an honest buck? But there comes a time when everyone has to put their foot down and make their voice heard, and I’m putting mine down regarding Kim Kardashian’s diet pill…

Everything is getting the reboot these days, and most of the time it doesn’t make any sense. Batman needed a fresh start because of the pun-ridden crapfest that was “Batman and Robin” which killed the franchise of the 90′s. But, really, “Total Recall,” “The Thing?” You can’t successfully reboot 80′s movies for the current audience. That decade was all cheesiness, montages, one liners from Arnold Schwarzenegger and that does not translate well to 2013. Now we all want is realism, grit, and tragic heroes. And come on, “Footloose?” There are some actors you can’t replicate, and the casual, smirky Kevin Bacon is one of them…

I’m going to go out and say it. I do not think dubstep is technically music. This is not a criticism. I’m not suggesting we boycott our beloved Skrillex. I am simply saying that if you really break it down, you will see that dubstep shares more qualities with drugs than it does with music. For those of you who have never been to college out there, asking yourself, “What is a drug?” It’s something natural or artificial that directly alters the mind or body, in ways varying from disturbing to hilarious.

Guys’s it’s official. #FollowFriday is more over than Amanda Bynes’ career. The new wave in social media trends is #TBT or #ThrowbackThursday, a day that gives us all a weekly opportunity to make asses of ourselves by posting old pictures on our Instagram, Twitter and Facebook pages. I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t we try to hide these photos from family members and potential employers in the past? Didn’t we desperately de-tag, and message our friends asking us to remove that drunken birthday album, mainly comprised of images of a night of debauchery that ended slumped over in a bathroom stall? Didn’t we pray nobody would ever unearth photographic documentation of that last regrettable haircut that resulted in a mental breakdown (even though it looked so cool on Rihanna)? Yes, yes, and yes. We did…

So, you slipped into a Thanksgiving induced 3-week coma, were literally or figuratively chained to a desk, got kidnapped and have been held captive by a maniacal madman that makes Gary Busey look sane. Whatever your excuse is, you’ve suddenly found yourself in Starbucks listening to a hipster version of “O Holy Night” and realize it’s the holiday season and you haven’t gone shopping yet. Although the joy of the season brings cheer and excitement, it also inevitably brings stress in the form of last minute invites to holiday parties, and gifts from unexpected people rendering you stunned and looking like a selfish idiot when you have nothing to present them in return. You don’t have to spend another year looking like an ingrate! Here are some quick and dirty ideas that just might save your sorry ass. Remember, it’s never too late to fake a thoughtful holiday gift, but next year, you might want to start taking Gingko Biloba.