Ladies. Unlike our foresisters of the 1950s, we’re lucky enough to be living in a day and age where a girl has some options. When it comes to mascara, not only do we have access to the plastic tube-contained technology allowing us to curl, lengthen, and define as we please, but we also have the right to choose…

And by that I mean, the right to choose to wear our mascara to bed shame-free with reckless abandon. With or without a consenting partner.

But does your favorite mascara have the intensity to survive 24 hours under pressure, withstanding the elements, pillows, or a night fending off douchebags at the local club du jour?

Going where no woman has dared go before, I put five different mascaras to what I officially dubbed as “The Morning After Test,” a rigorous cosmetic obstacle course comprised of various hurdles womenkind have encountered during extended wear including (but not limited to): smudges, smears, clumps, and waking up looking like you barely survived a bar brawl.

And yes, I actually slept in them, making this a must read for walk-of-shamers, and habitual-inebriated-passer-outers everywhere.

Read on for my scientific findings in…

THE MORNING AFTER TEST

1. Bare Escentuals bareMinerals Flawless Definition Volumizing Mascara:

In spite of what the name so boldly suggests, this mascara is far from flawless. Although bareMinerals Flawless Definition Volumizing Mascara comes equipped with a huge brush of Diorshow proportions, its unique NutriPlump formula is definitely not as smudge or smear-proof as it claims to be. This product was like my last one night stand, love at first sight, but a whole different story in the light of day. I woke up to a mess that could only be described as gummy, easily smeared, sticky and not waterproof.

SCORE:

-Morning after look & feel 5/10
-Smudge test 4/10
-Water test 3/10
-Overall rating 4/10

2. Urban Decay Supercurl Curling Mascara:

Leave it to Urban Decay to make the morning after pretty. Not only did this product stay put ‘til the wee hours, but the next morning it looked almost the same as when I originally applied it! Not smeared. Not smudged. Easily removed. Added bonus, this mascara is packed with glycoprotein for lash thickening, moringa seeds to help with curl definition, and meadowfoam seed oil and shea butter for conditioning and smoothing. And to that I say, “awesome.”

SCORE:

-Morning after look & feel 10/10
-Smudge test 10/10
-Water test 9/10
-Overall rating 9.5/10

3. Too Faced LashGasm:

With a name like LashGasm it has to be great, right? Wrong. Too Faced LashGasm claimed to be “voluptuous” and “fluffing,” but left me wanting more after I discovered its puny brush. Some things in life should really come with a disclaimer: “All talk, no action.” LashGasm is the cosmetic equivalent of the cute boy at the dark bar. Looks great initially, might even last for longer than you expected, but the next morning you realize it’s just not memorable enough to have you coming back for more.

SCORE:

-Morning after look & feel 6/10
-Smudge test 6/10
-Water test 6/10
-Overall rating 6/10

4. Make Up Forever Smoky Lash:

Finally, a mascara that delivers all night long! Smoky Lash darkens, defines, and lengthens without looking fake. It looks just as fabulous after 15 hours of wear as it did 15 seconds after initial application. The only downside, it’s not waterproof and can be little flaky.  Not ideal for the morning after, depending on what kind of trouble you plan on getting into during your night’s activities. Ahem. That being said, this is a good one, but buyer beware!

SCORE:

-Morning after look & feel 7/10
-Smudge test 8/10
-Water test 3/10
-Overall rating 6/10

5. Fairydrops Scandal Queen Mascara:

l think I’m in love. Or at least a really intense, stalk-you-on-the-internet, let’s-get-married-in-Vegas kind of lust. Although I was initially skeptical of the strange brush (which looks more like a Christmas ornament than a mascara wand), I gave it a chance and was pleasantly surprised. This water and sweat resistant formula looked good all day, night and on to the morning after.

SCORE:

-Morning after look & feel 8/10
-Smudge test 8/10
-Water test 9/10
-Overall rating 9/10