Jessie J, a popular English singer and songwriter, recently lambasted Simon Cowell for letting children participate on Britain’s Got Talent. She claims that “I cannot agree with kids having to go through three or four auditions when it’s purely for ridicule. […] I watched BGT auditions and there are these kids getting laughed at by the audience.”

This raises an interesting question, should children be allowed on such highly publicized talent shows like Britain’s Got Talent and American Idol? It’s clear Jessie J does not think so, saying, “I don’t understand how it’s legal.” But is this a personal issue, or is this a topic we should all consider?

My answer is yes. The main problem here is that it’s very difficult to tell a child, especially one you know and care about, that they aren’t good at something. Encouraging a child is crucial for their development, and parents should also help boost a child’s self esteem. Yet the simple fact of the matter is that there are tons of kids out there who lack talent in certain fields. Skills like singing, dancing, instrumentation and stunts usually take years of training and it’s rare for a child to be at a professional level at such a young age. It happens, sure. But it in no way should it be expected. Competing on a reality show should not be the bar of how we measure young talent.

Children can be traumatized easily, and putting an unprepared child in front of a cackling audience can, in my opinion, be described as psychological child abuse. Children are generally happy and confident, and such an experience can destroy such esteem and could even instill prolonged issues like stage fright and intense fear of rejection. And so we come to my main point: Jessie J should not be criticizing Simon Cowell. All chastising should be directed straight at the parents for their moral ineptitude. A parent’s number one priority should be to care for their child. Instead of competing, auditioning, and possibly risking embarrassment on national television, I think parents should focus on having their child perform in front of other kids. Put them in a play. If they enjoy their new craft, then help them hone it. Hire an instructor. Sign them up for camp. Gradually building one’s skill at something is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, and by throwing them to the audience before they’re ready you are cutting that process off and possibly stifling that interest and potential forever.

You have your heart in the right place Jessie J, but don’t make Cowell the scapegoat. In this case, it’s the parents who should face questioning.