In my humble opinion, Fergie can do no wrong. She’s got it all: hot career, hot body, hot husband. Let’s be honest, the girl peed on stage and she’s still got it. That’s when you know you’re, quite literally, “the piss.” I’ve even loved her from the long-ago days of Wild Orchid…don’t remember them? Don’t worry, if you weren’t a voracious subscriber to Teen Magazine in the years of 1998-2000, you’re exempt. Considering the fact that I think Fergie is fabulous, I don’t feel bad saying that her recent switch from blonde to brunette is the worst choice The Duchess could have made.

Robert Pattinson is the face of this month’s GQ, providing America with yet another opportunity to realize that he is not that hot. Listen up, tweens, don’t miss the memo this time. And if you’re somehow able to look past the hair that looks like he avoids a good shower like the plague, please explain to me what the hell is attractive about looking like you’ve done three times more drugs than Kate Moss and her entire entourage? Seriously, Pattinson looks like he hates the things that normal people do to survive and enjoy their usually miserable lives…shower and sleep.