Oh Lord, not only leaves will fall.

As I listen to “The Edge of Glory”, just recovering from the fashion delight that was Lady Gaga’s “Judas” video, I sit down to write for my favorite web mag… and then I am full of repulsion for the collection I decided to cover today.

First and foremost, fall is four months away, but obviously youʼve got to start shopping for it beforehand, especially if you want to get the best pieces. So, I looked into Marc by Marc Jacobs Fall 2011 collection. After Leeʼs death and Galliano’s fall from grace, with half the designers almost out of business of broke (like my admired Christian Lacroix), there is no little effort made in order to survive. Yet, my third favorite (again, first McQueen, then Galliano), Marc Jacobs, did one of the ugliest collections Iʼve seen lately (and yes, Iʼve been to H&M, I know what ugly looks like).

I do not know where to begin. Look at this hideous combination.

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The pants are horrendous, the sweater looks like it’s coming from a JC Penny sale rack, and the bag is boring (look at Balenciaga or Burberry for men bags, by the way). These clothes make the skinny look fat, picture what they would do to my huge ass! But he doesnʼt stop there. He keeps the ugly pants,but combined with a long jacket (covering them up, thankfully) and shoes that look like avery old Gucci pair I have gotten (probably 8 years old). The poor fellow looks like about to jump off the runway and cry.

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Then comes the sophistication of a tight sweater and horrible pants. Kanye can rock the wild look in Givenchy, but this model is just about to go into K-mart and get a job in the “fine” jewelry department.

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And then his friend, the blond kid with the ridiculous green pants and Burlington-meets-Ross-meets-TJ Maxx coat…the only salvation here are the shoes. Those I would wear.

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Then the “New York” look. The skinny kid with the dark glasses, the coat and the bag. Horrible, horrible colors. Disgusting purple and the brown just makes me wanna die.

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I feel kinda bad about ripping this collection apart, see, now that I am a father I need to set a positive example… but baby Gerry doesnʼt know how to read, so letʼs move on to this sixties inspired failure to launch. The coat looks like dead animal on the road, the gray from the suit emulates those lungs that have already gone through enough smoke.

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Well, this is the fall 2011 collection from Marc by Marc Jacobs. It is a disgrace, pretty much like Joan Riverʼs last 23 surgeries. Please, do not waste your money on this. I love Marcʼs designs most of the time, but not now. Yuck. E-mail me and tell me what you want to read in my style column!