Is it just me, or are all of these stupid messy-burger commercials absolutely revolting. Who decided that stretching your mouth-hole to wrap your lips around a huge burger that could feed 3 Congolese children is sexy? There’s something I’d like to tell that person, and whoever does advertising for McDonalds and Carl’s Jr…IT ISN’T. Let the rant continue. I will not discount the fact that a good ol’ cheeseburger is practically an American pastime in itself. Not to mention it’s the perfect accessory to a summer barbecue and beer (other than sunscreen and a Jonas Brother in a Speedo…wait, what’s that you say? They’re all 15? Oops. Nevermind).

What pop star wants to help you get your mind off the recession by doing totally insane things like change his name to Martin Louis the King, Jr.? Who else? In the latest issue of Complex magazine, Kanye West said he felt his role in the public is to “entertain people” and do the “crazy, bold stuff so [the public] can live through me and get their mind off the recession.” So, as he announced in a recent video, Kanye is changing his name to Martin Louis the King, Jr. — in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Kanye’s fave brand, Louis Vuitton. And he’s demanding that he “addressed as such.”

Even if you ignore a certain midget’s ridiculous three-concert, three-location marathon on Saturday, the upcoming weekend still holds a rich, if particularly wallet-draining, bounty of fine musical entertainment. Be it two legends of the piano or a rapper whose catchphrases are nearly as ubiquitous as his guest spots, there’s something for everyone’s palette…