Last night, I caught a split headline show at the House of Blues featuring LMAO and Shwayze. It was, more or less, my first rap concert. The crowd was young, naïve and decidedly un-tan if you catch my drift.

This is hip hop for the whitest kids possible. It’s the equivalent of that kid shampoo that doesn’t sting your eyes when the foam gets all aggressive. And you know what, it’s pretty damn catchy.

Now, I am a bread and butter white boy. I never went through that awkward rap phase that many kids had before. Hell, I’ve never even been a fan of rap or hip hop at all. Maybe this is why the musical stylings of bands like LMFAO and Shwayze have appealed to me.

LMFAO is a seriously bizarre hip hop/electro act composed of uncle/nephew duo Redfoo and Sky Blu. Oh, just you wait, it gets weirder. With their sparkly outfits and massive afros, the two dance and sing across the stage with an amount energy that is almost uncomfortable. Dancers, glitter, the works; these guys know how to put on a show. It was all like some early 80s coke party disco fest. High five guys. LMFAO will be releasing their debut album, aptly titled “Party Rock” in late May and their first single, “I’m In Miami, Bitch” is apparently on the airwaves somewhere.

Schwayze is another hip hop act tailor made for the white folk. Fronted by rapper Aaron “Shwayze” Smith and singer Cisco Adler, the band has taken off in the recent months due mainly to their MTV reality show “Buzzin’.”

Straight up, Cisco Adler is one of the ugliest mother fuckers I have ever seen. Regardless, he has dated the likes of Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton and many other retarded Hollywood bimbos. Luckily, his face doesn’t do the singing and his soothing voice adequately compliments Shwayze’s rap rhyming antics. Their tunes are catchy as hell, ultra-poppy and laced with a sensibility that only Southern California could provide. These guys will be big.

Both acts are native to Los Angeles so expect to see plenty more dates in the near future. Lame, un-ghetto cracker boys unite, for your rap music has arrived.