Mr. Miley Cyrus, Justin Gaston, just had a photospread in VMAN Magazine.

Source: VMAN

And what was the 20-year-old self-proclaimed virgin and “man of God” doing?

Taking pictures half-naked, while groping his crotch (well, someone has to touch it, Miley obviously doesn’t!)

In the article, Mr Miley says:

“I LOVE TENNIS. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET MILEY TO PLAY WITH ME, BUT SHE WON’T.”

I wonder what kind of balls he’s wanting her to try.

Source: VMAN

Source: VMAN

Source: VMAN

source: VMAN

Source: VMAN

Source: VMAN

Though these two are living together, sleeping underneath one roof, they are totally, utterly, not sleeping with each other, RIGHT?

And these pictures of Miley are completely innocent. I mean, all girls her age take these sweet, angelic, take-me-to-church-daddy pics, right?

In conclusion, Miley Cyrus is NOT a ho. To be one, you have to be the neighborhood bus, like a Japanese woman at an American military base in Okinawa, where EVERYONE gets a ride. Miley, on the other hand, is solely a motorcycle–only one gets to ride. Maybe two.