POP 5
WORST THINGS TO BRING TO A LABOR DAY PARTY
5. Something 99.9% Of The Population Hates
Do you have an affinity for snacks that suck? Although snack suckage can be vary depending on who you ask, there are definitely a few tried-and-true list items that never fail to make somebody reach for the nearest barf-bag. Or bowl. Or pot. Or really any round device that might hold some puke.
Do you like vinegar chips, anchovies, or deep fried tarantulas? Awesome! Can you please save everyone the gag-reflex and just enjoy them at home? When contemplating edible party contributions, first ask yourself the following question: “Will it make people physically ill?” If the answer is no, proceed to the check out line. If the answer is yes, put down the stinky cheese and proceed to the chips and salsa aisle immediately.
4. Generic “Host Gifts”
We’ve all done it before. But now, we know better. Showing up to a party with a candle, potpourri, and/or decorative soap is across the board LAME. In fact, the only thing worse than bringing any one of those things would be showing up with all three…or with somebody’s ex. Either way, pull a reverse Nike and just don’t do it.
3. An Annoying Friend
The only thing more embarrassing than being that guy who shows up with somebody that nobody knows, is showing up with that somebody nobody wants to know. When it comes to bringing a guest to somebody else’s soiree, it’s a general rule of thumb to ask the host’s permission first. If your guest request gets the green light, great! Just don’t throw everyone a curveball when your seemingly normal date turns out to be the token “drunk girl.”
2. Highly Flammable Objects
We get it, you’re still holding on to the tail end of firework season. We don’t blame you. But if you decide to seal the deal on some Tijuana explosives at the local block party, don’t be that guy who puts the “fire” in firework. Not that most people would show up to a firework fiesta with an aerosol can of hairspray anyway. And if you would, well, the more you know…
1. Nothing
Barney said it best, “Sharing is caring.” Although we don’t usually condone taking advice from purple dinosaurs, in this case Barney was totally right. Showing up with a snack, flowers, or beverage for the event enhances everyone’s shindig experience – and if you literally can’t stop by the nearest grocery store before the event, man up and apologize. Don’t do it again!
POP 5 Movie Inventions
Expectation vs Reality
5. Cloaking Device – “Predator”
- Expectation: You could go streaking during the Olympics, and not be charged and sent to jail.
- Reality: You attempt to steal a bag of money from the bank, yet everyone sees the flying bag of cash.
4. The Neuralizer – “Men In Black”
- Expectation: Your parents yell at you for not completing your chores. In return you neuralize them & insist they buy you pizza.
- Reality: Relationships would be in jeopardy, because there would be an increase in trust issues. “Have you been neuralizing me?”
3. Flying Cars – “5th Element”
- Expectation: Forget waiting on the 405, let’s zip and zag through the smog and make it from Santa Monica to Hollywood in 2 minutes!
- Reality: You get in a “Final Destination” style car wreck, due to the impossibility of proper air-traffic control.
2. Lightsabers – “Star Wars”
- Expectation: You would no longer have to add the fake sound effects & sword fights would be a thing of the past!
- Reality: We quickly realize that we all lack the force. Therefore population decreases, due to cut off arms, legs, and heads.
1. Transporter – “Star Trek”
- Expectation: “Beam me up, Scotty.” You could be lazy all day and a minute before you are supposed to be at work, you could beam there.
- Reality: On a serious note, this has terrorist attack written all over it. Please researchers, never invent the Transporter.
POP 5 Remakes
That Are Actually Pretty Awesome
5. Fox’s “Sleepy Hollow”
I will be the first to admit that I was the most skeptical of the Fox series. A time traveling Ichabod Crane? A quasi cop drama? The Four Horsemen of the apocalypse? But after watching the pilot I discovered a series that was absolutely hilarious, plays the insanity of the situation just right and two leads who have dynamite chemistry. That, and who doesn’t like to George Washington’s supernatural backstory? Season two has been expanded getting 18 episodes and creators have already promised that Founding Father Benjamin Franklin will make an appearance. Sign me up! I promise not to loose my head…
4. “Oceans Eleven”
Let’s get real, who is cooler than the rat pack? No one…well, except George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle. Steven Soderberg was the man to turn the smooth up to “eleven” in this awesome heist comedy. A remake that, dare I say it? Is better than the original, “Oceans 11″ spawned two sequels that featured additional cast members like Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones, just to name a few. Style, class, and all kinds of charisma, “Oceans 11″ hits the jackpot.
3. NBC’s “Hannibal”
Another TV reboot that makes the list, Bryan Fuller somehow managed to reinvent Doctor Hannibal Lecter on the small screen and allowed us to picture a version of Hannibal the cannibal separate from Anthony Hopkins Academy Award winning portrayal in “The Silence of the Lambs.” NBC’s Hannibal is dark, artistic, smart and superbly well acted with Maz Mikkleson in the title role. Although it’s a bubble show, Hannibal has been renewed for season three. So genre fans, sit down and catch up before the premiere. I promise you wont regret it.
2. “Rise and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”
Another adventure that I was the most skeptical about. In fact, I didn’t even see “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” until it came out on DVD but when I did, holy cow, what a terrific film. The franchise hit a huge pothole when Tim Burton tried to reboot the franchise in 2001. Despite a mostly great cast and incredible make up effects by Oscar winner Rick Baker, the 2001 version was a huge disaster. Cut to mo-cap legend Andy Serkis bringing Caesar to life in “Rise” and what you got was not only an incredible comeback but I’d argue the biggest surprise of the summer movie season. This summer we’ve been treated to Matt Reeves’ follow up “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” and when it comes down to it, this is the franchise that defies all of the traditional Hollywood summer blockbuster thinking: reboots and sequels that are superb and CGI and digital technology that, dare I say it, surpasses make up effects in bringing the apes to life. If you had doubts about these movies, do yourself a favor and watch. They’re a real treat.
1. John Carpenter’s “The Thing”
No list of reboots and remakes that are actually good would be complete without mention of John Carpenter’s “The Thing.” Truth be told, it was a real challenge deciding whether to include David Cronenberg’s “The Fly” in this spot, but ultimately I chose “The Thing,” because this film deserves as much appreciation as it can get. Savaged by critics upon its initial release, “The Thing” is Carpenter’s masterpiece. A remake of “The Thing From Another World” which itself was based on the short story “Who Goes There?,” “The Thing” still to this day stands the test of time in its story, its acting and its visual effects. Hollywood even tried to reboot-slash-prequilize the 1982 masterpiece in 2011 to no avail basically setting the reboot/remake/requel debate in motion once again.
Enjoy our POP 5 countdown and let’s hope their bad luck doesn’t rub off on any of you today.
Disney Live-Action Remake Wishlist – POP 5
5. “The Princess and the Frog”
First off, let’s not hire Tyler Perry to play the princess in this film. I think this film would be very easy to make and would be great for the culture that is New Orleans. Jennifer Hudson previously posed as Tiana for a Disney Dream Portrait series by Annie Leibovitz. Only task would be the creation of the little ole frog.
4. “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame”
Now Universal previously released a live-action version of this film in 1923. It actually was the highest grossing silent film of theirs, bringing in $3 million. While this picture looks pretty frightening, we all know the hunchback isn’t supposed to be that attractive. I could see them take a darker approach to this film, which has plenty of evil and wrongdoing within it.
3. “Pocahontas”
Take a trip with me just around the riverbend, to a place where a tree gives out life-lessons. Since Disney let’s full ethnicity kinda slide in these films, example being Johnny Depp in “The Lone Ranger,” I have my Pocahontas actress choices. Naya Rivera from “Glee” has both the pipes and the looks. Then there is also the former Pussycat Dolls lead singer Nicole Scherzinger. I’ll sacrifice seeing some really good acting if either of those were picked.
2. “Aladdin”
Seriously, can you see the epic flying carpet and a mystical blue genie? If the budget was big enough, this movie would be epic! It could take us to a whole new world, literally. A little CG here and a little CG there, that’s all I’m asking for. Plus you know the guys will drool over Princess Jasmine and the girls would swoon over Aladdin himself. They had a monkeys in Disney’s “Oz the Great and Powerful,” so this could totally be possible.
1. “The Little Mermaid”
One word, mermaids. The whole idea of creating a world for actors that is either underwater or one that simulates water, is so intriguing! You know Ursula would be terrifying. I think there would be one director and one director only for this film and that is Tim Burton. Plus Disney has already visited the world of mermaids in “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”
POP 5 Celebrity
Commencement Speeches
5. Barack Obama: The President of the United States spoke to Arizona State University in 2009. There’s no doubt about it, the man is really good at public speaking.
“That’s the great American story, young people just like you, following their passions, determined to meet the times on their own terms. They weren’t doing it for the money. Their titles weren’t fancy, ex-slave, minister, student, citizen. A whole bunch of them didn’t get honorary degrees but they changed the course of history and so can you ASU, so can you Class of 2009. So can you.”
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger: In 2009 the Terminator himself shared his “6 Rules Of Success” with the University of Southern California graduates. Those rules were: trust yourself, break the rules, don’t be afraid to fail, don’t listen to the naysayers, work your butt off, and give back.
“Now, of course, people ask me all the time, they say to me, “What is the secret to success?” And I give them always the short version. I say, ‘Number one, come to America. Number two, work your butt off. And number three, marry a Kennedy.’”
3. Steve Jobs: What an honor to have the founder of Apple speak at your graduation. In 2005 at Stanford University he spoke about death, unknowing that those words would mean much more in about five years time.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
2. Oprah: She didn’t give everyone a car, but she shared some personal experiences to make everyone more confident at Howard University in 2007. She could of just stood there and I believe all the students would of been inspired, she’s Oprah.
“You have to be willing to stand up for what you believe in. If I could count the number of times I have been asked to compromise and sell out myself for one reason or another, I would be a billionaire 10 times over. My integrity is not for sale and neither is yours.”
1. Ellen: After numerous years of basically killing yourself so you can graduate, the one thing you deserve is to kick back and laugh. Ellen delivered joke after joke in 2009 at Tulane University.
“I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumni, aluminum, alumis; you had to graduate from this school. And I didn’t go to college here, and I don’t know if President Cowan knows, I didn’t go to any college at all, any college. And I’m not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.”
Did your most anticipated movie make the list?
“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” “22 Jump Street,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “Rio 2″ are all sequels in 2014 and since the unnecessary follow up has become a necessary evil of movie fandom, we’d like to countdown the POP 5 Movie Sequels We’d Actually Like to See!