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VIDEO: Semenology Bartender Singlehanded Redefining “Happy Hour” & Ray-J’s Musical Ode To Kim-K

by Erin Darling 12 April 2013 No Comment E-mail Erin Darling

A bay area bartender is taking happy hour a little too seriously. I can’t even get through our next story without having a gag reflex.

Now, for this week’s top stories.

 

Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer’s self-published book, “Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook” is now available for purchase on Amazon.com. And yes, this is really happening, 56 pages full of recipes for the adventurous drinker who’s tired of dressing up their libations with bitters and mint leaves. We can only hope this trend doesn’t catch on, but I’ve gotta say, this story is hard for me to swallow.  knowing that the next time my drink tastes a little funny, I might have accidentally ordered a “Jizz & Tonic.”

In other news, Ray J has officially become that losery guy at the bar who brags about banging the homecoming queen in the baseball dugout back when he still had all his hair.  His Kim Kardashian diss song, “I Hit It First” debuted on the interwebs this week, calling out his ex and basically every guy she’s ever been with. We all remember back in 2007 when this couple’s sex tape hit the web. Thank God he filmed it for proof, right? Or who knows what long-past, irrelevant life event he’d be recording songs about…his best one-liner on “Moesha?” But if the pathetic “I Hit It First” ever climbs the charts to become a hit, I think Ray-J should celebrate with a special cocktail.

Luckily, I have the perfect bartender in mind who might be able to serve up something “special” enough for the occasion…

 

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