A POPPIN’ GUIDE: Understanding The Freakum Dress
Recently, while watching an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, I saw a couple of drag queens lip-synching for their lives to a song encouraging one to “put their freakum dress on.” “Freakum dress?” I said aloud. “What is this freakum dress and why don’t I have one,” I asked myself, followed by, “How is it that contestants on a gay man’s reality show know more about being a girl than I do?”
I embarked on a mission: Mission Freakum Dress.
First of all, what is a freakum dress? According to Urban Dictionary, it’s:
“similar to a ‘lil black dress’…A HOT ass dress that demands ones attention!”
According to Beyonce in her song “Freakum Dress,” a freakum dress is a sexy outfit that you bust out of your closet when your man is actin’ a fool to make him (and everyone else) notice you. And apparently, “every woman got one.” See video below for demonstration.
According to Beyonce, a freakum dress is described as “short and backless,” but is depicted in the music video as anything either shiny, bright colored and/or tight (short and blackless isn’t always the case).

Image via Countlessmusic.com
Although the freakum dress can be interpreted in a wide variety of ways, here a few suitable examples on the classier side of the range:
Marciano, $148

Image via Marciano.com
BCBG, $198

Image via Nordstrom.com
Arden B, $78

Image via Ardenb.com
On the opposite side of the spectrum, here are some real, serious, I’m-not-joking-around-tonight, freakum dresses:
Amiclubwear, $19.99

Image via Amiclubwear.com
Amiclubwear, $27.99

Image via Amiclubwear.com
Universal Mind, $25.80

Image via Greatglam.com
In conclusion a freakum dress is a dress that hugs your curves, enhances your assets and makes guys drool as you reject them and walk away. I hope this enlightened you on the path of understanding the freakum dress. Thanks to research, and dedication, I was able to finally grasp about this trend (that I previously did not even know existed). So, ladies, put that freakum dress on.










This song be kicking it
love the song, but the slutty dresses are a little crazy
HILARRIOUS! Obviously, the slutty dresses are a joke. Hello, the song is called “Freakum Dress” and the whole article is kind of making fun of what that means.
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