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FASHION POLICE: Can It Get Any Worse Than White Pants?

by Erin Darling 19 February 2009 8 Comments E-mail Erin Darling

Who decided that white pants are acceptable and/or good looking?

Well, whoever that person is should basically fall in a puddle of dirty sewage…while wearing those God-forsaken white pants.

There are three (count ‘em…one, two, THREE, that’s it) occasions in life when it is socially acceptable for a man to wear white pants. Those times are:

1. While getting day-drunk on a boat in Cape Cod.

2. 1969.

3. P. Diddy‘s annual white party.

Equally, there are three occasions when it socially acceptable for a woman to wear pants in white, and those are:

1.  If and when that woman ever becomes a size 0 or 2.

2. 1969.

3. P. Diddy‘s annual white party.

What do I have against white pants? Nothing, other than the fact it makes every one look like a white cow on steroids. Simply put, white pants are not flattering. Ever. Want photographic evidence? Just take a look at Kim Kardashian at a fashion show in New York. Usually, she looks great, but here? Let’s just say a picture’s worth 1,000 pounds.

kimkwhite

Image via KimKardashian.Celebuzz.com

Kim Kardashian does look not this inflated in person, we’ve seen her. She’s gorgeous, smaller, and has a great figure. The photo below, taken at Akon’s Pre-Grammy party two weeks ago, is a testament to what a more flattering outfit (notice the lack of white pants?) can do for your body.

Image Copyrighted to THEPOPFIX.com

Image Copyrighted to THEPOPFIX.com

That said, I think that white is a great color in most circumstances. It looks amazing on tan skin, it’s attention grabbing, and is perfect for a cotton dress in the summer. I’m just ready to bust out the phone and call the cops every time I see a girl (or guy, for that matter) walking down the street with a hot pink G-string showing through a pair of see-through pantalones. Come on, people, I’ve seen hookers in at 4 AM in Vegas with more class.

Why would anyone want to adorn their lower half with white when, thanks to American Apparel, we have every other color of the rainbow available with just a click of a mouse button?

Image via AmericanApparel.com

Image via AmericanApparel.com

Hello. Where do you think the Jonas Brothers get their pants?

Image via People

Image via People

White pants make me cringe simply because very few people know how to wear them. Do society a favor and just don’t go there, unless you can do it with a little bit of sensibility, proper undergarments, and an honest look in the mirror before you walk out the door…as demonstrated below by Victoria Beckham, one of the few women THE POP FIX has seen who can pull off pants in white, done right.

dvb-denim-launch-photo-of-victoria

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8 Comments »

  • Chad said:

    I think white pants look BANGIN’!

  • Mickey said:

    Then, Chad, I think you’re on drugs! Or pAAArtied a little too hard in Vegas or something!

  • Randall said:

    Well, I can say this…Victoria Beckham looks hot in white pants. Otherwise, I don’t know…

  • Mariah said:

    Kim K does kind of look fat here. Not usually, but white does nothing for her figure. And seriously, a pants suit? Are you coming straight from the office? What a joke.

  • Denise said:

    White pants are hard to pull off but you can still rock it!

  • TonyC said:

    does that incldue men? I rock white linen pants every summer. So does every Spaniard and Italian, as well as Puerto Rican women. What’s the big deal?

  • Erin said:

    TonyC, yes I know a lot of people wear white pants. My point is that very few people who do it can actually pull it off. Good for them if they can!

  • Tara said:

    I recently went shopping with my daughter and as I headed for the white pant rack, she screamed “NO MOM. NOT WHITE PANTS. THEY ARE SO DATED AND NOT A GOOD LOOK’ Bless her.

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