Important Things with Demetri Martin
Image via DemetriMartin.com
My eyes are fixed on the future. We can work together. America is only as strong as our ideals, like hope and virtue, according to our new intrepid leader, Barack Obama. But he missed a key cornerstone of our nation, an ideal no American should be without, comedy. And who embodies humor more than Demetri Martin? No one.
If you don’t know Demetri yet, you will on Febuary 11th. His new show, “Important Things with Demetri Martin,” is touted, by himself, to be one of the most popular shows ever. He’s predicting to attract an audience of 100 million people. That way he only has to tailor his jokes to one third of the American public. 33% market share is no small feat. But with Jon Stewart behind the scenes as the Executive Producer and “shepherding” the pilot, I think Demetri’s just nibbling on a piece of humble pie. The show format will be redolent of the Dave Chappelle Show, comedic stand up bits interspersed with pre-taped sketches. Demetri’s sense of humor is entirely novel for a show of this format and it just might work. Each shows themes consist of something important in our lives. We’ll see the important things from “Apples” to “Coolness” all through Demetri’s sly, witty lens.
source: time inc
His dry wit comes from a past life of overachieving. A former Yale graduate and prospective lawyer, Demetri had an opportune epiphany about how much he hated his life’s path and turned comedian. He had a lot of hope, a morsel of virtue and a surplus of latent comedy from all those dismal hours researching the law-the classic American recipe for success.
Just two months ago, he was bestowed with the honor of giving the inaugurational prayer. Although he dabbled in theology, this task was beyond him. He stepped aside for Rick Warren, noting that he would only divide a nation between cool people and uncool people. It wasn’t fair to create more divisions in a nation already steeped in bitter partisan lines. Once again, like a mouthpiece for Demetri, I agree. We better stick to a more classic approach to political rivalry, the one dividing liberals from conservatives, gays from anti-gays, war apologists versus terrorist advocates, and Dick Cheney versus everyone.
Source: Paste Mag
It also wouldn’t be fair to Barrack if Demetri were a headliner. The consequences would have been cataclysmic for a nation teetering on hope and fear. Obama is the symbol of change and hope and, unfortunately, Demetri would have eclipsed this symbolic imperative. In one fell, comedic anecdote, Demetri could have unraveled the delicate web Obama has spun, that web that has united people of all creeds and colors for the past year and a half.
Source:glaadorg
If you don’t believe me, believe science…social science at least. Here’s a slice of the popularity chart among the performers and speakers slated at that historic inauguration. It starts with Barrack, barely beating out Anderson Cooper. Remember, this is science. It’s indisputable. Then it branches to the Triple B’s: Beyonce, Bill Clinton, and Bono. Trailing at their heals is the illustrious Oprah Winfrey and Michelle’s radiant dress, not to be confused with the person, just think of Michelle as an exalted, really smart manikin. After that it’s all pretty close. Bush chugs along as the neglected caboose. In fact, he’s so unpopular you could hear the crowd exhale a unanimous sigh of relief as Bush soared overhead in his shame plane back to Fort Andrews. Fox news, of course, will spin the sigh as a moment of uncertainty for America, where Obama’s soaring rhetoric, so intoxicating and mesmerizing, will be tested and fall flat. They’re probably right.
After Bush departed, people’s eyes went from the heavens to the most popular man at the mall, Obama. This pivotal transition of optimistic eyes would have been dashed if Demetri performed. This delicate chain of popularity, a foundation of our beloved meritocracy (just look at Caroline Kennedy and say I’m wrong), would have shattered. But instead of showing up the president and sparking a catastrophe that would devastate the fabric of America, Demetri took the high road and politely declined any involvement. So as not to tempt himself, he asked Jon Stewart to lock him somewhere safe away from internet connections and phone lines.
This morning he exited Jon Stewarts walk in closet, unshaven and smelly. At this exact moment a cleaning lady spotted him and ran screaming. If only she knew what the man sacrificed. It’s for the greater good, and I hope people acknowledge his heroism. Tune in on February 11th to hear about all things important, from pondering apples to life after death.
I’ll leave you with a video of Demetri singing in his pajamas.
Cheers,
Patrick
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This dude is soooo funny, can’t wait!
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