Ever wanted to hear a woman actually spew vitriolic words of hatred towards another woman on TV without that annoying beep taunting you every two seconds? Did you really want to see a naked wo(man) on television without that stupid censor blurring out all of their goodies? Well, unlike the U.S., television in the UK is very liberated and is able to broadcast everything you would ever want to see on HBO without it becoming some cheap porno. After ten o’ clock, don’t be surprised to see a woman calling another woman a f***ing b**** ass c*** for pulling her t*** without her permission while semi-naked in a diaper. Pure magic. Pure uninhibited television. Pure British culture.

Not only does the UK have the classiest shows like Vanity Lair, a show where ten self-proclaimed “perfect 10s” vote out the ugliest house mate, they show them in a way that will leave you flabbergasted and wondering how something so crude could be shown on your very own boobtube (no pun intended.)

But what makes British television worthwhile is that between these whoreiffic shows are the most hilarious and innovative commercials saturated with British wit and creativity.

Here is a list of the top five hilarious British commercials shown on television these days. From a man kicking a grizzly bear in the balls, to a woman biting a piece of a man’s bum bum off, you will be left questioning why the Brits don’t make commercials for the States.

5.

A dramatic opening focused on a very intense gorilla’s eyes and nose with Phil Collins playing in the background. What is this commercial about? You’ll never guess.

4.

A woman bites a chunk out of a man’s butt. Another woman steals a man’s arm. Two women lick a man’s face until it melts. Sound like a commercial you’d like to see? Yeah, us too.

3.

Women absolutely hate it when their spouse does stupid things. Like gambling away their savings, not having an income, or cheating with another woman. But some things are just downright unforgivable like what this man does in this commercial. Watch and learn, men!

2.

Whoever thought that a dog like the kid series Wishbone could help sell a car? Who knew that a dog had some real soul in him and could sang a bad tune? Great marketing for VW. Without this commercial with this brilliant dog, viewers would be laughing at the car rather than laughing with it. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t laugh at a car named…Polo?

1.

A man hunts for salmon. A man gets into a Tekken 4-like scuffle with a grizzly bear. A grizzly bear reverse roundhouse kicks the man with the prowess of a fat Tae Kwon Do master. Who will win? Hmm…