What do you do when your crazy ex won’t leave you alone? Some would ignore the long-lost lover, or call to tell them to stop, but not John Mayer. This pop star prefers a more indirect route of communication; the World Wide Web. Last week, Mayer publicly embarrassed his ex on the Internet via blog. At least he had enough tact to leave names out of it, and instead chose to refer to her (or him) as “Ex Lover.” Here’s what Mayer had to say to his former flame:

Dear Ex Lover, 

Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying. 
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.

Wow, John. That was an impressive insult to some unfortunate person’s ego. But if you’d like to go a little further, we have some ideas that you might want to consider, so we wrote this internet letter for you…

Dear John Mayer,
Love can be a crazy thing. If you were aiming for a low blow, congrats mate, you did it well. However, I think the general public shares my disappointment when I say that I was surprised you neglected to go the extra mile. If your “Ex Lover” won’t stop contacting you, why don’t you write a song about it? Then, release it on an album with his/her face on the cover. You need to take it to the next level.
Love,
The Pop Fox