Rumor has it that Victoria Beckham has adopted “D Beck” as a new nickname for her hubby, David. According to the story, Snoop Dogg thought the name “David” was boring and that “D Beck” is a far superior moniker for the famous footballer. Apparently, Posh agreed and now uses the nickname on a regular basis.

What astounds me about this whole situation is …

A) When did Snoop Dogg and Posh start hanging out? Besides being rich, what could they possibly have in common? Are they secretly bonding over blunts and Colt 45 as they brainstorm about pet names for their significant others?

B) Who would honestly take advice from an unashamed, perpetutally high rapper whose hit songs have titles like, “Smoke Weed Everyday.”

C) Didn’t anybody tell these two that the fly-girl style nicknames are more out than J-Lo brand track suits?

Nevertheless, I have decided to compile a list of nicknames that I find ridiculous, but more appropriate for the unfortunate “D Beck”:

DBecks (At least the inclusion of the “s” makes it more modern)

The Beckmeister

Sex God

The Becks-Sex-God

Sexy Becksie

My Future Husband

Any suggestions?